If Carlsberg made customers

They’d make them just like you!

If Carlsberg made customers

They’d make them just like you

Each one charming and reasonable

With a sense of humour too.


Their writing would be legible

Their prose would be coherent

The source of their frustration

To us immediately apparent


No bold or red and angry words

In case we missed the prompt

No hopes or hidden meanings

Concealed within their font


But Carlsberg don’t make customers

And I confess that I am pleased

Because life would be so very dull

Without some interest and intrigue


There’d be no clown’s excuses

No photos formed by illustration

Or trying of our psychic powers

To help with our frustration


We hope you found us willing

We always tried our best

With your often many ways

To put us to the test


All year you gave variety

Of abundance we couldn't measure

So thank you dearest customer

It’s been our utmost pleasure.


If Carlsberg could make customers

They'd be half as good as you.  

Less charming and less reasonable

They'd need your sense of humour too!


Last date edited: 16 March 2016

About this blog

Sarina Young

Sarina joined us in 2008 as our customer services co-ordinator. Among other things, she manages our national customer service team, complaints procedure and requests for information made to the Trust. She says that the most important thing to her is to be able to go home and feel as though she’s achieved something, however small that might be. Her job is hugely satisfying, widely varied, full of deadlines, immensely interesting, sometimes challenging and no day is ever the same, although some are surprisingly familiar!  

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