Eat your heart out Cosmo. THIS is a real quiz...

…for real people, about real ‘stuff’. Honestly, it is!

OK.  So, I can't lie.  There aren't any prizes and this certainly doesn't finish with an insightful enlightenment into the inner workings of your subconscious. 

But, if you took five minutes to read through it may just elicit a giggle.  Perhaps.

1) You want to buy one of our electricity cards. Do you:

a) Visit our website and purchase one from our online shop

b) Call our customer service team on 0303 040 4040 and order it over the telephone

c) Post a letter, to a completely unrelated department, with your purchase request and a cheque for an amount which differs (quite vastly) from the item(s) you’ve asked for


2) There’s a piece in the press alerting you that we’re recruiting some volunteers to help us capture and re-home invading terrapins on the Ashby & Coventry Canal. Do you:

a) Watch it with interest and curiosity because you’ve honestly never thought about the impact of people releasing these reptiles

b) Get in touch with us, offering your services and ‘quick reflexes’ to help restore peace and harmony along the Ashby Canal

c) Email us offering to shoot the terrapins with your air rifle instead.  Whilst you're at it, you'd also like our written permission to shoot any other assortment of animals you take a dislike to, at your discretion.

3) You’ve been thinking and have decided that you would like to pay for your boat licence by Direct Debit instalments this year. Do you:

a) Complete the DD form we’ve already sent you on the reverse of your licence renewal paperwork and post it back to us

b) Call our customer service team to have a chat and weigh up the pros and cons and make sure that you’ve got the right paperwork at hand to complete and return

c) Painstakingly draw us, in pencil, an exact replica of the DD form and then complete it...because your printer ran out of ink before you could print it.

4) You buy a new boat and set about the task of licensing it. Do you:

a) Visit one of our local offices and enlist the help of our staff who will provide you with an application form and check that you have sent the right fee and accompanying paperwork

b) Call our customer services team to talk through the process and ask them to send you any relevant forms.

c) Search through your drawers because you know that you kept a spare application form aside, just in case. When you find it you complete it and return it despite it being branded ‘British Waterways’ and the issue date being 1996...

And the result?

We know the overwhelming majority of you are a and b people but please believe me when I tell you that somewhere, out there, someone has answered 'c' to all of those questions. They certainly brighten up our days and enrich our lives!

Last date edited: 25 September 2014

About this blog

Sarina Young

Sarina joined us in 2008 as our customer services co-ordinator. Among other things, she manages our national customer service team, complaints procedure and requests for information made to the Trust. She says that the most important thing to her is to be able to go home and feel as though she’s achieved something, however small that might be. Her job is hugely satisfying, widely varied, full of deadlines, immensely interesting, sometimes challenging and no day is ever the same, although some are surprisingly familiar!  

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